quot;Those suckers had been compressing my organs with such might that my kidneys were introduced to my collarbone. I felt like a bratwurst that had just escaped its casing."
I didn’t start out thinking I’d be naked from the waist down in the ladies' lounge, but there we were. I had just been enjoying my $19 chicken salad sandwich and some uninterrupted adult conversation when it happened. I was suddenly very aware of my midsection. It was a deep, painful throb that intensified by the second. If I didn’t get out of there soon, my pants were going to pop faster than a can of Pillsbury biscuits and the button of my jeans would hit my mother square between the eyes. I politely excused myself from the table and

Rookie » Out of (My) Body

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How a Spanx Mishap Changed My Perception of My 'Mom Bod